Meet the Yukimuras
by strangertrack
Summary: A series of crack family dramedy one-shots. All schools set to appear. Ch 4: Yukimura sells out Akaya to the yakuza. Appearance of Akutsu, Minami-kumicho, Sengoku-anesan, and Taichi dethu! Also cameos by chibi!Fudomine.
1. Chapter 1: Hired Help

A/N: The basic makeup of the Yukimura family came from some friends on LJ several years ago. I'm just taking the idea and running with it.

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**Meet the Yukimuras  
Chapter 1: Hired Help**

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**

It was business as usual at Rikkai Corporation. The young president was planning a hostile takeover of a rival company when his personal line rang. Very few people had access to that line and most knew not to bother him with anything trivial. He was a very busy man, after all, and his time was expensive.

"Code red," the voice on the other side said curtly, considerately dispensing with common courties like 'hello.'

Yukimura swiveled his chair and smiled serenely, not really seeing the panoramic view of the city outside his window. "Do it, Sanada," he gave the order and hung up.

He should be getting a visit from his lovely wife soon. What a wonderful day.

xxxxx

"SEIIICHIIIII!"

Low level paper-pushers scuttled out of the way as Mizuki rampaged down the hallway, not sparing them a second glance. They stared in awe after the rare beauty, struck once again by how fitting a partner he was for their beloved boss.

They seemed unfazed by the fact that said beauty had a rake in his hand and murder in his eyes.

Mizuki slammed the rake down on Yukimura's desk, scratching expensive maple and sending documents flying. Yukimura smiled and rested his chin on laced fingers.

"Hajime, how pleasant to see you," he started.

"Don't give me that," Mizuki snarled, beyond outraged. "You fired the gardener! How dare you!"

"Well, yes." Yukimura let his smile slip and his eyes turned to hard flints. "Sengoku was tending to more than my garden now, wasn't he?"

Mizuki sputtered, unable to deny the claim.

"And the pool boy?"

"Akazawa didn't get his full body tan by keeping his swimming trunks on."

Mizuki sputtered some more. There was _no_ way Yukimura could know something like that! Unless... damn it all, that sneaky Sanada must have tattled! Mizuki had never liked their maid; he was creepy and skulked around the house as if he thought _he_ should be in charge.

"That makes four servants you've fired this month," Mizuki sulked, mourning the loss of his latest boytoys. "Do you know how hard it is to find good-looking help these days?"

"Don't you mean good help?" Yukimura corrected, amused.

Mizuki crossed his arms. "No. Have you _seen_ Atobe's manservant?"

If Yukimura was going to keep firing the help, he should go ahead and give their maid the boot. Even worse than Sanada's attitude was the atrocious way he filled out the French maid uniform. His arms were too muscular, his legs were unshaved, and he insisted on wearing an unstylish cap even in the house. When Mizuki had objected on aesthetic grounds, Yukimura had sent the cap away. It came back with pert bunny ears stitched in the seams, accompanied by a puffy bunny tail to attach to the rump of Sanada's skirt.

It wounded Mizuki that Sanada got to keep the cap. Honestly, he sometimes thought that Yukimura cared for that stupid maid more than him, his adoring and adorable life partner.

Yukimura watched his beloved wife pout and pulled out his chair so that he could pat his lap invitingly. Mizuki frowned and ignored the gesture.

"Sanada's been slapping around the nanny again," he informed, putting a hand on his hip. "Kuwahara threatened to quit."

Now that was help Yukimura couldn't afford to lose. Their Akaya tended toward mischief, with an evil streak that Mizuki claimed was all Yukimura and zero percent him.

"You should fire Sanada."

Yukimura chose to ignore the suggestion. "I'll double Jackal's salary," he said nonchalantly. "If that doesn't appease him, I'll remind him that I can yank his working visa and have him deported."

"I guess blackmail's one way of handling it."

"It's never failed before," was the placid reply. Nothing ruffled Yukimura, not even Mizuki's indiscretions. It invited Mizuki to try even harder.

"And what about the garden?" Mizuki returned to the original topic which had brought about his visit.

"I'll pick up gardening in my spare time. It's a relaxing hobby."

"The pool then. We'll need a new pool boy," Mizuki reminded.

"Why not let Sanada handle the interviews?"

Mizuki wasn't about to fall for that trick again. Yanagisawa was a fine driver, and he did nothing better than drive Mizuki insane with his nonstop 'da ne's. "I sit in and make the final call," he counter-offered.

Yukimura shook his head ruefully, conceding defeat. In the end, he didn't have the heart to directly deny his Hajime's wishes. "I get veto rights."

"Deal."

"Now will you _please_ come sit in my lap, Hajime my sweet?"

"...I hate you."

"I love you, too."

xxxxx

Akaya peeked out from under the bed. No Jackal or Sanada in sight. Whew. He scrambled out of his hidey-hole and poked his head out the door. All clear.

He pitter-pattered down the hall and down the stairway, keeping a lookout for his dreaded keepers. The front door opened and Mizuki came in.

"Mommy, mommy!"

"Don't call me that," Mizuki said crossly as he took off his coat. "I'm not a woman."

"But Daddy says you're my mommy."

"Your daddy's a liar. You're not my child," Mizuki denied vehemently.

Akaya looked up at the dark black curls, the special way the lips curled up into a cruel smirk. Akaya was definitely his mother's child.

"You're being mean. I'm telling Daddy."

Mizuki rolled his eyes. So uncute. Well, okay, it was kind of cute how Akaya's lower lip was trembling like he was about to cry.

"I'm sorry, Akaya," he apologized, not really meaning it.

"so'kay!"

"AKAYA!"

Akaya jumped at the bellow and dove behind Mizuki.

"What did you do this time?" Mizuki sighed as Sanada came clomping in, looking absolutely furious.

"I dug up Daddy's tulips and buried Sanada's cap," Akaya confided in a hushed whisper, looking both proud and scared at the same time.

He squeaked in surprise when Mizuki pulled him in for a hug.

"Oh that's my Aka-chan," Mizuki crooned, with an extra loving pat on the head.

Akaya beamed and stuck out his tongue at Sanada. Now that he had his mommy on his side, there was nothing Sanada could do to punish him. Poor Jackal would probably end up whipping boy for his little prank instead.

"Now now, Sanada," Mizuki sing-songed, making no attempt to hide his grin. "Akaya meant no harm. Did you, Akaya?"

"Nuh-uh," he said obediently.

Sanada glowered as he shook his dirty cap at them both. One day, one day he'd be emperor of the house and then they'd get what's coming to them.

"Did you set up the interviews yet, Sanada?" Mizuki inquired, mood much improved.

"The first should be arriving soon."

"Good."

Maybe there would be a prize or two in this crop of candidates.

xxxxx

The first interviewee was Mizuki's type. He had long silky hair and delicate features. The only hitch was that he wore a cap. Mizuki hated caps with a passion.

"We'll let you know," he said, putting the resume in the 'maybe' pile.

xxxxx

The bleached-haired boy was gorgeous, with dark blue eyes and an easy smile. "You're hired," Mizuki said immediately, standing up and extending his hand. The boy clasped it warmly and held Mizuki's gaze.

"We'll let you know," Sanada corrected. He threw Saeki's resume into the trash. Yukimura would definitely use his power of veto on this one.

xxxxx

Kajimoto knew how to accessorize and he was definitely hot. However, he seemed indifferent to Mizuki's flirtations so Sanada initially decided to give him a chance. But then he reconsidered.

If Mizuki could hook his claws into Yukimura, then no man was immune. His resume joined Saeki's in the now overflowing trashcan.

xxxxx

"You've already interviewed."

"No, I haven't," Atsushi denied with a shake of his head. "You must have met my twin brother Ryoh."

Mizuki cast him a suspicious look and opened a drawer. "Come here for a sec," he ordered, rummaging around.

He snatched off the cap and flung it to the floor. Atsushi stared in bafflement as Mizuki tied a red ribbon around him like a headband, then stepped back to survey the change.

"Hmm...mmmm... not bad." Mizuki rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"We'll let you know," Sanada said, not even bothering to wait until Atsushi left to toss out the resume.

xxxxx

"I have two years of pool cleaning experience!"

"He seems good."

"No. Definitely not. NEXT!"

xxxxx

They finally reached a compromise. Yuuta was the most attractive of the candidates who weren't so attractive that they had to be vetoed. He had no sense of fashion and a disfiguring scar, but he didn't make Mizuki's eyes bleed like the ones Sanada would have preferred.

Sanada watched from the window as Mizuki sashayed out to the pool area in his swimming shorts, a bottle of sunblock lotion in hand. Yuuta blushed and stammered when Mizuki approached him and Sanada pulled his cellphone out of his apron pocket, ready to make the call.

Tarundoru, being a maid at the Yukimuras came with so much responsibilities.

xxxxx

**_Coming up - Chapter 2: Charity Ball_**

xxxxx

July 5, 2008


	2. Chapter 2: Charity Ball

A/N: The basic makeup of the Yukimura family came from some friends on LJ several years ago. I'm just taking the idea and running with it.

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**Meet the Yukimuras  
Chapter 2: Charity Ball**

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**

Every year around Christmas time, one of the major corporations hosted a charity ball to raise funds for a worthy cause.

It was now Rikkai's turn and Yukimura came up with a brilliant idea guaranteed to smash all previous donation records. All he needed was a little cooperation from his better half.

He waited until Mizuki had been served his morning coffee and worked out the morning grumps before broaching the subject.

"No," Mizuki said with finality, flipping to the travel section of the newspaper. A trip to the Bahamas to escape the cold sounded like heaven.

"But Hajime dear, think of the children." Wheedling was more Mizuki's style, but Yukimura wasn't above using any tactic that would give him the win. Coupled with his patented sweet worship-me-or-go-commit-seppuku expression, anyone else would have fallen victim and given in.

"I don't give a damn about the children," Mizuki groused, kicking at Akaya who was playing under the table with his toy luxury cars. Akaya liked to use Mizuki's slippered feet and pajama pants as a roadway, running his cars over them with gleeful "vroom vroom!"s and "skkkrrrrch!" as he made things collide.

"Please don't make me beg in front of the help, Hajime." Yukimura didn't sound at all put out.

Mizuki glanced sideways at Sanada, standing there like a stupid wall in his stupid French maid uniform with his stupid cap. He scowled. Not only was the cap back, bunny ears perkier than ever, it had undergone another alteration: strips of lace that were tied into a bow beneath the chin, securing the cap into place. Sanada wasn't taking any chances having it swiped again.

Mizuki stabbed his grapefruit with his fruit spoon. "What if I end up with someone fat and ugly?" he said sulkily.

Yukimura confiscated the spoon and laid it back on the table. He took one of Mizuki's hand and caressed Mizuki's cheek lovingly before coming in for a kiss.

"Oh Hajime. Of course I'll be the winning bidder. Did you have any doubts?" he rebuked gently.

"Well..." Mizuki hesitated. "For the children, you said?"

Yukimura smiled and went in for the kill. "Not any children. _Orphans._"

Mizuki gave his consent, a tiny little nod. "You better prepare for a bidding war. I'm highly in demand, you know."

Sanada just stood there and watched the heartwarming scene. Creepy.

xxxxx

The Yukimuras were dressed to impress as they swept into the room. The curly-haired trio paused and posed for the publicity pictures before Akaya scampered off to find other boys his age. Jackal, his nanny, trudged after him. He had been given strict instructions: no biting, no fighting, and definitely no arson.

Yukimura's second-in-command, the CFO of Rikkai Corporation, soon joined the couple. "Mizuki-san, you look lovely as always," Yanagi complimented.

"Thank you." Mizuki gazed around and nodded in satisfaction to see the elite of the elites had gathered. "You've done a wonderful job organizing this event."

"It was mostly Seiichi," Yanagi demurred modestly. He touched Yukimura's elbow and leaned in to whisper.

Yukimura nodded as he listened, then pulled back. "Would you be alright if I left to attend to a few details?"

"I'll be fine mingling," Mizuki said dismissively, waving them away. He watched them go, and decided it was time high time for a drink.

"Dom Perignon?" A very familiar baritone said smoothly, placing a glass in his hand.

Mizuki took a sip. "Nfu. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're trying to get me drunk."

"Some of our best times together, we were sloshed out of our minds."

"Ah, but I was young and stupid then."

"You were captivating then, as you are now," Atobe smiled winningly and held out his hand. "Shall we dance?"

Mizuki stalled by draining the rest of his drink. "I don't know," he hedged. "Seiichi-"

Atobe put a hand over his chest theatrically. "You're breaking my heart all over again."

"If I thought you had one, I might feel guilty," Mizuki quipped back.

Once upon a time, he had been engaged to the handsome Atobe heir. Then, during one of the many business functions he had accompanied Atobe, he had chanced upon a meeting with Yukimura, a rising talent in the corporate world.

Yukimura had greeted him politely, then turned to one of the other partygoers as if Mizuki _wasn't_ the most fascinating thing in the room. To say that Mizuki had been shocked would be an understatement. He was used to wrapping more powerful men around his little finger, men driven by the often delusional hope that maybe, just maybe, they had a shot with him. Desire and lust made idiots of them all.

Yukimura hid it better, but he was just as shaken by Mizuki's immunity to his subtle but potent brand of manipulation. Usually, all Yukimura had to do was plant careful suggestions and his target would jerk like a puppet on a string, foolishly believing that he was acting on his own desires when in fact, he was doing exactly what Yukimura wanted him to do. That godlike ability was the cornerstone of his business acumen, the secret to his success.

Mizuki was no puppet. He looked calculatingly at Yukimura, as if to say, "I know exactly what you're doing and I admit myself impressed."

It was a rare challenge neither could pass up, the clash of two strong wills used to getting their own ways, engaged in a game of dominance. It had been love at first sight.

"It's just a dance," Atobe cajoled, assertiveness taking over as he took Mizuki by the hand.

Mizuki was pulled close but Akaya came running up and wedged himself between the two. He stomped on Atobe's perfectly polished shoes, mangling his feet and ruining the mood Atobe had so carefully cultivated with his transparent but effective flattery.

"Akaya!" Mizuki scolded, collaring his son. Where was that damn nanny? Oh, right. Probably getting slapped around by Sanada for something Akaya had done. "Why did you do that? Apologize to Atobe-san."

"No." Akaya glared and clung to Mizuki's leg possessively. "I don't like him. His hair's all gray like an old man and he's looking at you all gross like the gardener used to."

Atobe cleared his throat delicately. "Now look here, brat, er... Akaya. I'm an old friend of you mother and-"

"STUPID! SMELLY HEAD! I HATE YOU!" Akaya interrupted, choosing to throw a temper tantrum. He yelled until he was red in the eyes and Mizuki hid his face in embarrassment as they attracted all sorts of unwanted attention.

"Kabaji." Atobe snapped his fingers.

"Usu."

"Why don't you 'escort' Akaya to the designated playroom?"

"NONONONONONONONONO!"

Ignoring Akaya's wailing, Atobe's manservant picked him up with one hand and easily carried him away.

Atobe took the opportunity to sidle in close again, pressing a hand on Mizuki's hip. "I've missed you," he said huskily, lips brushing dangerously close to his ear. "Have you missed me?"

Only someone with a massive, unbruiseable ego could ask a question like that, when the only proper reply was sure to be in the negative. But Mizuki did kind of miss Atobe, smug bastard that he could be. He had done the most _amazing_ things with his tongue.

"Keigo." Mizuki's protest held no real conviction.

"I see you still have a nasty habit of coveting things you can't have." Yukimura's cordial tone was completely incongruous with his chilling smile and biting words. In a rare show of jealousy, he grabbed Mizuki's arm and tugged him over to his side.

"Oh, I've _had _him, Yukimura," Atobe parried haughtily, grabbing Mizuki's other arm and pulling him back. "Plenty of times. Until _you_ stole him from _me_."

"If you had kept him satisfied, maybe he wouldn't have been so easily swayed."

"That's funny. I've heard fascinating rumors about why you run through staff like they're going out of style."

"Both of you, stop it," Mizuki hissed, snatching his limbs back. He normally enjoyed the sight of two men fighting over him but had no desire to continue being the rope in their tug-of-war. Besides, the established Atobe Corporation was the biggest contributor of the charity ball and it wouldn't do to offend the current president. And Mizuki _had_ to think of the children! These two certainly weren't going to.

"H'ime-chan," Atobe said in an overly familiar way that made Yukimura's smile turn from chill to freezing. "You're part of the charity auction at the end of the night, correct?"

"Er... yes."

"Excellent."

Mizuki needed another drink or twenty. Now.

xxxxx

"Our final auction is the lovely Mizuki Hajime, wife of Rikkai Corporation's president. He has generously volunteered a day with his charming presence to raise money for the unfortunate orphans!"

Clapping all around as Mizuki catwalked down the stage, whirled around, and struck a model-y pose.

"Now I'd like to open the bidding at-"

"10.000.000 yen," Atobe called out. He smirked and raised his glass in Mizuki's direction in a toast.

The seasoned auctioneer recovered quickly. "Wow! A spectacular first bid by the Atobe Corporation's president."

"20.000.000," Yukimura spoke up.

"30.000.000," Atobe swiftly upped the ante.

"40.000.000."

"50.000.000."

"60.000.000."

"100.000.000."

Yukimura crumpled the program in his hands. He would gladly go much higher for his darling wife but the way things were going, he might actually lose. The fledgling Rikkai Corporation was quite successful but most of Yukimura's wealth was tied to the company, not liquid assets. Atobe, on the other hand, was old money and filthy rich. He had plenty of cash to throw around and then some.

Losing was not an option. Yukimura pulled out his cell phone. "Do it, Sanada. Operation T," he ordered.

"We have 100.000.000. Do I have any other bids?" Everyone turned expectantly in Yukimura's direction.

"110.000.000," he said calmly.

No reply from where Atobe was sitting. Correction, had been sitting. He seemed to have vanished.

"Going once, twice, won, by our gracious host!" The auctioneer banged the gavel and Yukimura rose amidst the applause to gather his prize.

"I told you I'd win." He wasn't bragging; he was simply stating a fact.

"Um... what did you do to Keigo?" Mizuki asked nervously.

Yukimura narrowed his eyes. Perhaps he'd been much too lenient lately, if his wife thought it appropriate to so casually speak another man's name in his presence.

"I wouldn't worry about him," he said deliberately.

"No?"

"No. I'd be more worried about _you_, Hajime _dear_."

Mizuki squeaked as Yukimura dragged him to the hotel elevator and pushed the button for the penthouse, which he'd had Sanada reserve earlier. Yukimura was going to fuck Mizuki silly until he couldn't even _think_ about another man, much less skip around town seducing them.

xxxxx

"Sanada, is it?"

Why he was doing the tango with the Yukimuras' maid, Atobe had no idea.

"Hn."

"I think I should lead. You're wearing the skirt," Atobe asserted convincingly as Sanada twirled him around and dipped him.

"No."

Atobe put on his big boss voice. "Ore-sama demands you be the girl."

"I don't think so."

"Then I refuse to dance," Atobe threatened.

Sanada didn't miss a step. "Think of it as a competition. If you win, you get the right to go after Mizuki."

"Oh, in that case." Atobe twirled dramatically, reaching out to pluck a rose from a nearby vase. He placed it between his teeth and put his soul into the dance he knew so well. He would get Mizuki back and rub it in Yukimura's face. And then he'd come out on top!

xxxxx

"...goddamn, Seiichi."

Mizuki took another breath and flopped down in the massive bed, completely spent. Yukimura joined him, tangling their bodies in a post-coital cuddle.

"_Goddamn_," Mizuki repeated. Here was the person he he had fallen for, this assertive, dominating man who could take charge in the bedroom. If Yukimura didn't neglect him so often for work, he wouldn't be so lonely and feel it necessary to seek attention from other men.

"Mm... Hajime." The two were nuzzling lazily when an alarm started to blare.

They bolted up, staring at each other with perfect understanding.

"Akaya."

The demon child ran through the hallways, laughing in glee. Fire was so pretty!

xxxxx

_**Coming up - Chapter 3: Play Date (Introducing Atobe's fake family: Oshitari-mama, Hiyoshi-brat, Jiroh-precious, and Gakuto the manny).**_

xxxxx

July 6, 2008


	3. Chapter 3: Play Date

A/N: The basic makeup of the Yukimura family came from some friends on LJ several years ago. I'm just taking the idea and running with it.

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**Meet the Yukimuras  
Chapter 3: Play Date**

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**

Mizuki blinked and set down his cup of tea.

"A play date?" he repeated. "But you don't have any children."

Mizuki could practically see Atobe's triumphant smile over the phone line. "I do now. And I thought it'd be quaint if our sons could become friends, seeing as you and I have such a beautiful relationship."

Akaya snuck up on an unsuspecting Yuuta and pushed him into the pool. Yuuta flailed and sputtered as he reemerged from the water while Akaya laughed, running along deckside and stepping on the poor pool boy's fingers when he tried to climb out.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt for Akaya to socialize with other boys his age. But how was he going to convince Yukimura?

xxxxx

"Out of the question."

"Akaya needs friends."

"He already has friends."

"Hired help doesn't count."

"There's the Tachibanas."

Mizuki's jaw dropped. How could Yukimura be so freakishly informed on every move Mizuki made throughout the day, yet be so unaware when it came to his own son?

"He injured the Tachibana boy so badly he needed to be hospitalized."

Yukimura mulled that over. "That's Akaya's way of playing." You couldn't really blame Akaya for the Tachibana boy's weaknesses. Akaya was younger and smaller... how much harm could he have really done? Mizuki was surely exaggerating for effect, to make a better case.

Mizuki crossed his arms, recognizing that dismissive expression. "The Tachibana girl pushed Akaya down the stairs in retaliation. He could have broken his neck," he stressed.

"Then the Fuji boy-"

"Akaya rendered him temporarily blind, nearly got his knee shattered in return."

Yukimura tapped his fingers together, still not getting what the big fuss was about. Akaya was just fine; his playmates should stop being such attention seeking drama queens. "Boys will be boys."

"And maladjusted misfits grow up to be homicidal maniacs," Mizuki retorted, tired of trying to reason. "There _will_ be a play date and Akaya _will_ learn to play nicely with Keigo's kid whether you like it or not. So there." He stamped his foot for emphasis and stomped out of the room to call back Atobe.

"I'm blaming you if he turns into a spoiled snobby bocchama," Yukimura called after him.

xxxxx

"Atobe."

"Yukimura. I wasn't expecting you to be here," Atobe frowned.

"It would be rude of me not to stay and greet our guests." Yukimura nodded at the bundle that Atobe was holding. "I'm sure you're aware that kidnapping's against the law," he started conversationally.

Mizuki rolled his eyes and elbowed his husband to the side. "I think introductions are in order, Keigo," he steered the conversation in a friendlier direction. He flashed a smile at the tall, willowy man next to Atobe, sizing him up. Pretty, if you were into the megane look, but no real threat.

"I'm Mizuki Hajime, this is my husband Yukimura Seiichi, and this is our son Akaya."

"...'lo." Akaya said sullenly when Mizuki gave him a sharp nudge.

"Well everyone already knows who I am," Atobe stated self-importantly. "This is my wife Oshitari Yuushi, and these are our sons Jiroh and Hiyoshi."

Jiroh was the sleeping bundle in Atobe's arms. He was absolutely precious, lost in a fluffy wool sweater. Strawberry blond curls peeked out from the hoodie pulled over his head. The hoodie had little ram horns on it.

His older brother Hiyoshi looked to be Akaya's age. In stark contrast to the wild mess that was Akaya, Hiyoshi was fastidiously neat, missing the usual scabs and smudges of dirt that were standard for children his age. He wore a pressed blue jacket and shorts suit and his hair was neatly combed. Bright yellow chicks marched up and down his tie. He was scowling fiercely.

"Akaya, why don't you go show Hiyoshi your toys?"

"Don't wanna," Akaya grouched, clinging to his mother's pants.

"Hiyoshi, don't you want to go play with your new friend?" Atobe said commandingly.

"Not really," Hiyoshi admitted.

Yukimura smiled. "This was a wonderful idea, Atobe," he said breezily without a trace of sarcasm. "I've love to stay but I must be going to work. Unlike some companies with hundreds of employees and figurehead executives, every member of Team Rikkai needs to carry their weight."

Point to Yukimura. But Atobe had the whole day to win the game.

xxxxx

The older kids were booted to the family room with Jackal to baby-sit. Atobe also offered the services of his own manny that he had brought along.

"Male nanny?"

"Maid-slash-nanny," Atobe corrected.

"Ah." Mizuki nodded in approval as he watched Gakuto bounce off to join the kids. Now _that_ was what a maid should look like, so slim and cute in his uniform, a lacy hairband in his fabulous red hair. Sanada should take notes.

"Why don't I let you two catch up?" Oshitari drawled, as previously planned. He took Jiroh from Atobe and sauntered out, shutting the parlor door behind him to give them privacy.

The rest was up to Atobe. He decided to check up on Gakuto.

xxxxx

"I'm going to marry my mommy when I grow up."

"That's stupid. You can't do that."

"Yes, I can," Akaya disagreed. Hiyoshi was just jealous because his mommy wasn't nearly as pretty. But then no one was as pretty as Akaya's mommy... she was the prettiest person Akaya knew! His daddy was pretty, too, but it wasn't like he was going to marry his dad. That would be ludicrous because he was a boy.

"Well, there's no way I'm marrying Oshitari," Hiyoshi said broodingly. "Although I'm going to defeat Atobe and take over his position as head of AtoCorp." He was quite the ambitious lad.

"Your dad's a poopy-head."

"He's not my dad."

"Well, he's still a poopy-head anyway."

"Yeah, he is," Hiyoshi agreed, much to Akaya's surprise.

"Here, you can be first player," he offered generously, hoping Hiyoshi wouldn't select his favorite character.

Hiyoshi looked down at the controller he'd been handed, then dropped it. "Video games are stupid."

"No, you're stupid!" Akaya lunged at the other boy but was grabbed mid-air.

"No fighting!" Jackal scolded.

"He started it," Akaya pouted.

"Did not," Hiyoshi muttered.

The two exchanged dirty looks.

Jackal looked at them helplessly, then turned to the Atobe's manny for assistance. Gakuto was giggling as he squirmed in Oshitari's lap, the two of them whispering in each other's ear, engaged in what was no doubt some game of dirty word play.

Well, it wasn't like his own mistress was terribly discreet when it came to flirting with the help.

Jackal watched in horror as the unsupervised Jiroh-bundle rocked and then started to roll off the sofa.

"Ack!"

He dove and caught Jiroh in a very close save. Unfortunately, this meant that Akaya was free to resume his attack.

"I'm going to destroy you," Akaya said matter-of-factly, not privy to the fact that his opponent was formally trained in the art of kobujutsu while he was not. He was promptly schooled, wild swing easily deflected before he flew through the air to land flat on his back.

"Owww..."

"Gekokujou," Hiyoshi said smugly, planting a foot on Akaya's chest in a victory pose.

"Don't make the brat cry, brat," Gakuto bossed. "Atobe will be mad."

"I'm not crying!" Akaya shrieked, completely humiliated. He got up and ran out of the room.

"Mommy, mommy!" he cried, bursting into the parlor.

"Akaya!" Mizuki quickly shoved Atobe aside and pulled down his shirt. He looked mussed and flushed. "What have I told you about knocking?"

"I hate Hiyoshi. He's mean," he bawled into his mother's lap. "Make him and his whole stupid family go away."

Atobe growled in frustration. The brat had the worst timing ever.

"Maybe you should go," Mizuki suggested, maternal instincts kicking in as he stroked Akaya's back. "We can try this again another time." Atobe wasn't sure what the 'this' was referring to: the children's play date or their own trip down memory lane. In any case, he wasn't about to let a little snag ruin his plans. He had been _so_ close to rounding third base.

"I'm sure this is a misunderstanding," he assured through gritted teeth. Damn that Hiyoshi, the useless brat!

"Come on." Atobe hauled himself up on his feet and towed Mizuki over to the family room, Akaya trotting double steps in order to keep up.

Mizuki raised an eyebrow at the sight of Oshitari and Gakuto making out, but Atobe didn't seem to notice or care.

"Hiyoshi, apologize to Akaya for whatever you did," he demanded.

Hiyoshi folded his arms stubbornly across his chest.

"We had a deal," Atobe reminded.

Hiyoshi rolled his eyes to the side. "I'm sorry I kicked your butt, Akaya," he said sarcastically. "Sissy."

"Gakuto," Atobe bit out, trying to keep his temper in check. "_Do something_."

Gakuto sighed heavily and extricated himself from Oshitari. "Alright, alright," he grumbled, straightening his skirt before flouncing over to them. He cleared his throat and drew himself up to his full height.

The room was heavy with anticipation as everyone watched, wondering what the manny would do to do to turn the ill-mannered boy around.

Gakuto reached out and smacked Hiyoshi upside the head.

"You hit me. You _hit_ me," Hiyoshi accused, looking more shocked than anything else.

"There's more of that coming if you don't behave," Gakuto promised, shaking his fist at Hiyoshi. "Brat."

To everyone's surprise, Hiyoshi's mouth turned from a stupefied little 'o' into a tentative smile. "I'm sorry, Akaya," he said earnestly as he clung to Gakuto's bare legs. Gakuto patted him absently on the head. "I didn't meant to be such a bad guest."

"Hmph." Akaya wasn't going to forgive the other boy so easily.

"Your video games are pretty cool. I have them at home." Hiyoshi leaned in to whisper, "I like to pretend Atobe's the last boss and try to finish him off with a 8-hit air combo."

Akaya couldn't help but smile back at that. "I can do a 12-hit combo," he bragged.

Hiyoshi looked suitably impressed.

"Hey, you want to play a game of steal Sanada's cap? I bet with your cool ninja moves, you can totally take him down while I snatch and run."

"Okay!"

The two frolicked off hand in hand, in search of the maid. Mizuki's heart overflowed with joy at the sight and he was glad he had overridden Yukimura's objections. Childhood friendship was such a beautiful thing.

Atobe smirked beside him. Operation Play Date was a complete success. The afternoon stretched ahead with endless possibilities, and with any luck, Hiyoshi would keep both the brat and the meddlesome maid occupied for the next several hours.

xxxxx

_**Coming up - Nothing planned yet.**_

xxxxx

Didn't mean to sound emo or whiny in my last post if that's how I came a little bummed, not by lack of reviews but more so by the fact that so few people clicked in to take a look. How am I supposed to convince people of the greatness of Yukimura/Mizuki crack if they don't give it a try? D:

Ah well, can't win 'em all.

xxxxx

July 7, 2008


	4. Chapter 4: Yakuza Dethu!

A/N: The basic makeup of the Yukimura family came from some friends on LJ several years ago. I'm just taking the idea and running with it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Meet the Yukimuras  
Chapter 4: Yakuza Dethu!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**

"Let me see Yukimura."

Marui looked up from filing his nails and loudly popped his gum. "You got an appointment?" he asked between chews.

Akutsu grabbed the stapler on his desk and snapped it in half. He violently slammed the broken pieces back on the desk and gave Marui a look that suggested he was next.

"Whoa. Let's not get carried away, Akutsu-kun." Like his companion, Sengoku was dressed in a pristine white suit, his dark shades pushed up on his hair. The only difference in dress was that Sengoku's tie was a tacky (lucky!) green.

Sengoku placed an elbow on the counter and leaned in. "We don't have an appointment but we're here on Yukimura's invite. Maybe he can make the time?" he suggested good-naturedly with a friendly wink.

_-pop-_ "I'll check," Marui agreed, still eyeing the other visitor with distrust. He swung his feet off the desk and sat up to make the call, conferring quietly with his boss before hanging up.

"He'll see you now," he notified the two, to which Sengoku responded with a cheerful, "Lucky!" Marui led them toward the double doors to his right and gave a cursory knock before throwing open the doors, even though Yukimura was well aware they were coming.

"Yakuza here to see you, shachou."

Yukimura didn't rise from his seat, coolly nodding at the two as they entered his office. "Thank you, Marui. You may be excused."

"Sure thing." Marui popped his gum and returned to his station. If he didn't know anything, he couldn't be named an accessory. Ignorance sure was bliss.

xxxx

"There's a certain problem I'm having," Yukimura hinted vaguely. "It's a minor irritant but I don't appreciate distractions. I'd like to have it removed."

"Sure, I'll take your damn job. But it's gonna cost you," the taller one said.

Easier than expected. Yukimura smiled. "I'm willing to negotiate a reasonable sum."

"You can keep your money. I'm not interested."

"What? Akutsu-kun!" Sengoku complained. "Look at this place. He's rich! He can afford to pay us a bundle."

Akutsu ignored him and waited in challenge.

Yukimura steepled his fingers together and studied at the two shrewdly. People like Akutsu didn't go around doing favors without expecting to collect big. Money was easy but other things were not so easily let go. "Then what method of payment are we talking about?"

"I hear your son's a real human terror. I think he'd be a good influence on our kid." Akutsu would pound a person for suggesting it but he worried about Taichi. That innocent kid would get eaten up in the yakuza world if he didn't toughen up.

Yukimura looked at him, calculating. Akutsu stood unmoved by his companion's complaints, and he didn't look like he could be persuaded in the usual manner.

"Let me think about it."

xxxxx

"Oh boy!" Akaya bounced in the backseat, unable to contain his excitement. A whole day at his friend's house! Hiyoshi had described the Atobe mansion and Akaya couldn't wait to see the four tennis courts, full-size gym, traditional dojo, helicopter pad, five swimming pools (2 indoors, 2 outdoors, plus the one on the roof), the sixty-seater private theater, the bowling alley, the game room with twenty-three real arcade games, the two-story tree house complete with kitchen and running water, and the guest house filled with toys.

"Are we there yet?" he asked for the bazillionth time but Sanada ignored him. Akaya unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled himself up to stare out the window. He frowned when the car pulled up a dirt path and they arrived at their destination.

It was certainly big, but nothing like the grand estate that he expected. The house was very old and traditional, the type with shoji screens and tatami mats instead of modern doors and hardwood floors.

The car door opened then, causing him to fall out and into Sanada's arms.

"I'll be back at four," Sanada told him, placing him on the ground. Akaya stood dumb-founded as the maid re-entered the car and drove away, leaving him behind in a trail of exhaust. He didn't quite grasp the situation but had the sinking feeling he had been tricked.

He wasn't left alone very long with his thoughts. "You must be Akaya-kun!" Sengoku said with a friendly clap on the back. "Dan-kun's been waiting for you."

"Huh?"

Sengoku ushered the confused boy into the house, calling out greetings to all the men in white who were lounging around. "Yo, Jimis minus one!" he called out. "Have you seen Dan-kun?"

"Probably with Akutsu," Higashikata grimaced, expressing both his views at being called a Jimi and at his opinion of Akutsu.

No one in Yamabuki really cared for the violent guy that the old head had recruited, but they conceded that they would lose in their turf war with the Fudomine Family without him, so they silently endured his presence. Only their anesan and their little mascot seemed to genuinely like Akutsu, and their current kumicho himself seemed intimidated by him.

"I'm right here dethu!" a voice piped up and Akaya started to see the small boy looking at him, big-eyed and friendly.

Dan Taichi had an unfortunate habit of adding "desu" to the end of his sentences, and he lisped that word and that word only. The lisp was a carryover from when he was a toddler following after Akutsu, punctuating every sentence Akutsu said with a happy "dethu!"

Akutsu had secretly been a very proud papa. He himself had been a late bloomer; he hadn't started issuing death threats until he was at least eight. Taichi, perceptive tyke that he was, had sensed Akutsu's approval and so he continued saying "dethu" although he was now perfectly capable of pronouncing the s.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you dethu!" Taichi said with a formal bow. It made his over-sized green headband slide down over his eyes. "Are you here to play?"

"Um..." Akaya backed away and bumped into something. He craned his neck up, up, up and saw a scary man with glowing yellow eyes, cracking his knuckles. His white suit was spattered with something dark red. Akaya was starting to feel like Goldilocks in a house with hungry bears.

"Aw, man, Akutsu," Kita whined. "Do you know how hard bloodstains are to get out? I'll probably have to throw that out."

Akutsu shrugged and pulled out a cigarette. He didn't give a damn and didn't care if they knew it. "Blame the goddamn genius who decided we should wear all white."

"But we _have_ to wear white!" Nitobe said, aghast. "Because Fudomine wears all black."

"Whatever." Akutsu shoved the two aside and slouched down the hall.

"I _really _don't like him," Nitobe said in a low voice and Kita nodded empathetically.

Akaya disagreed. As scary as he was, Akutsu was pretty darn cool! It was like everyone was too afraid to mess with him. Akaya knew then and there that he wanted to be just like Akutsu when he grew up.

"Hey," he pulled Taichi to the side, out of the adults' earshots. "How do I become yakuza?"

"It's easy dethu! You wear a suit and live with the whole group like one big happy family," Taichi beamed, thinking of all his adopted papas and anikis.

Akaya plucked at his red T-shirt unhappily. He had a few suits but none of them white. His parents declared it a waste when he would ruin it with stains and rips in five seconds flat. "I want a white suit," he said forlornly.

"I have extra," Taichi offered, tugging at his hand. "It's in my room dethu!"

The suit was a little tight but still made him look cool. The shades Taichi loaned him added to the effect, although it made everything go dark.

"Now what?" Akaya asked eagerly.

"I guess you can call me aniki since I was part of the family longer."

"No way. You call me aniki," Akaya quickly decided.

Taichi nodded agreeably. "Okay dethu!"

"So am I yakuza yet?"

"Well," Taichi deliberated. "No dethu. You need to pass an initiation first."

"What kind of initiation?"

"You'll need to challenge and beat a member of a rival gang dethu."

Akaya thought of the men he had seen. None were as bad-ass as Akutsu but they had all looked strong, lean and muscular. They were probably no strangers to a fight.

"Did you have to beat someone?" he asked hesitantly. He didn't think Taichi was pulling his leg but he also couldn't picture the kid beating someone else up.

"No dethu! I was born into the family dethu!"

Akaya pouted. It didn't seem fair that Taichi automatically got to be yakuza while he had to go through a test.

"But don't worry dethu! I just know you'll be able to beat them dethu! I have faith in you!"

Akaya took another look at his reflection, looking even cooler than Hiyoshi when he wore his ninja clothes and did his ninja moves. He could do this, he just had to!

"Lead the way, runt."

"Right, aniki!" Taichi clapped his hands in excitement, then added, "Dethu!"

xxxxx

"Look, Shinji, it's Yamabuki," Kamio remarked as he pumped his legs harder, causing him to fly up higher with each swing.

"I don't know where he gets the nerve, invading our territory. This playground is clearly a part of Fudomine," Shinji mumbled, sitting still on his swing. "I even wrote the name in the sandbox so everyone could see."

"Hello dethu!" Taichi waved.

"And where does he get off being so friendly, acting like we're bestest buddies. He should know that we're enemies and feel the bitter hate. He's too happy to be a yakuza." A dark look passed over the boy's eyes. "I'll crush him."

"Aw, lay off him, Shinji. He's a harmless kid." As Taichi drew close, Kamio jumped off mid-swing and landed on his feet in an impressive display of athleticism.

"Hey, Taichi," he greeted, hooking his thumbs on his pants pockets. Yes, they were enemies, but they attended the same school. There was no reason they couldn't be civil just because the adults couldn't get along.

"Hello dethu!" Taichi repeated, bowing to them both. Shinji glared at him then turned to the other boy who was dressed in the Yamabuki's trademark whites.

"You there, I've never seen you before. I guess Yamabuki's getting pretty desperate recruiting kids your age. But then Fudomine's stronger so of course Yamabuki's going to be scared. I bet you've never even seen a comrade bleed to death before your eyes," Shinji said morbidly.

"Can I beat _this_ kid? He's annoying." Akaya turned to Taichi for guidance.

"What?" Kamio balled his hands into fists, ready to fight. No one threatened his friends and got away with it! "What did you say?"

"I was just saying I was going to beat your pansy butts," Akaya sneered, giving Kamio a little shove.

"Why you-!"

There was a scuffle of feet as the two engaged in combat. Kamio had speed on his side but Akaya had the edge on playground fighting. They were about evenly matched.

"Oh no dethu!" Taichi fretted. He had forgotten to tell Akaya that it was a one-shot deal. There would be no second chance if he happened to lose.

"I wonder if I should help out since Kamio is my friend. But Yamabuki is not helping and two-on-one wouldn't be fair. But then the kid just threw sand in Kamio's eyes so he's not playing fair either. Ah-! Kamio pulled his hair. I wonder if that's considered dirty."

While Shinji was standing there narrating his indecision, Tachibana came running up with the rest of the chibi Fudomine crew.

"Kamio, stop!"

The entire gang separated Kamio and the new kid and held them back.

"Tachibana-san, I can explain!" Kamio started.

He was interrupted by Akaya throwing back his head and laughing. "_You_'re the head of this baby gang?" he snickered, breaking free from Ishida's hold. "I beat you months ago!"

Tachibana colored slightly, now recognizing the boy.

"You-"

"How dare you speak to Tachibana-san that way!" The others roared with indignation, jumping toward Akaya. Akaya gulped. Seven-on-one was a little too much, even for him. It was time to cut and run.

"Let's go, Taichi!"

"Yes dethu!"

The two dashed like mad back to the house, the angry mob of kids still close on their heels.

xxxxx

Something was wrong but Mizuki couldn't quite put a finger on it. He set down his shopping bags and called for the nanny.

"Yes, Mizuki-san? Did you have fun shopping with Oshitari-san?" Jackal asked nervously. The diversionary tactic failed before it got started.

"Where's Akaya?"

"Um..." Jackal shifted his eyes from left to right, looking for possible avenues of escape.

Mizuki smiled kittenishly and leaned in close. He played with the collar of Jackal's shirt, straightening it and smoothing it, his hands all over him.

"Where is my sweet little Aka-chan?" he crooned.

"Sanada took him to a yakuza house on Yukimura-san's orders," Jackal confessed.

Mizuki pushed Jackal back, anger blazing in his eyes. Oh there would be blood tonight.

"Tell Yanagisawa to get the car ready again," he snapped. "And fetch me my scissors. I'm going to make mincemeat out of Sanada's uniform when I get back."

xxxxx

Mizuki stormed into the Yamabuki stronghold without a thought to his own safety. He was a lioness on a mission and he was out to retrieve his cub.

"What the-?"

"Who are _you_?"

Mizuki grabbed the nearest person by the collar. "Where's Akaya?" he hissed, eyes narrowed into slits.

Minami froze in panic. Mizuki was scary, even scarier than Akutsu in one of his rampages.

"You must be Akaya's mother," Sengoku interrupted, easing himself in between the intruder and his kumicho to try to break the tension with his usual affable temperament.

Mizuki's hand shot out and wrapped around Sengoku's neck. "Where. Is. He?"

"Over there," Sengoku rasped, pointing frantically toward Taichi's room at the end of the hall.

Mizuki let him go and stormed in the direction. "Akaya! Get out here now! We're going home!" He slammed the shoji door open to see blood pouring over Akaya's left hand while another boy stood over him with a switchblade.

"AKAYA!" Mizuki screeched, grabbing his son. "You're BLEEDING!" He turned hatefully toward a wide-eyed Taichi and raised his hand...

Taichi remained unslapped because Akutsu caught Mizuki's arm.

"Calm down, princess. They were just doing a blood ceremony to commemorate the brat passing initiation. It looks worse than it is."

Mizuki turned on Akutsu and slapped him with his free hand. There was a deathly silence in which Mizuki shook with rage and Akutsu started to smile a very dangerous smile.

"I think it's time for our visitors to go," Minami said in a small, shaky voice. He shrank back when Mizuki glared at him. "I mean, if you're ready. It's okay if you want to stay longer, you're perfectly welcome," he amended quickly.

Mizuki yanked free from Akutsu and knelt down to face his child. He pressed a handkerchief to Akaya's bleeding hand to staunch the flow. It really wasn't that bad, just a shallow cut. But that didn't mean Mizuki was going to be any more forgiving.

Minami trembled with fright as Mizuki swept past them all, Akaya in his arms. "That was so scary," he whimpered. "I thought for sure Akutsu was going to kill him."

"Now, now, kumicho," Sengoku reassured him, rubbing circles on his back. "You know Akutsu respects strength, no matter in what form."

"But what does it say about me, when Akutsu doesn't respect me?" Minami said pathetically. "And I'm the leader of this group."

"I respect you, Minami-kumicho!" Sengoku said cheerfully. "You're really strong for a Jimi!"

Sengoku continued to feel Minami up as Minami cried into his hands. Lucky! Looks like he'll be topping tonight!

xxxxx

_**Coming up - In Sickness and In Wealth**_

xxxxx

I know Sengoku's already been mentioned as the old gardener but work with me here. Consider it an AU within an AU... it'll be fine as long as the alternate selves don't come face to face.

To the reviewer who asked, all schools will appear since I love a good ensemble fic. I'm just trying to decide if I should go with the AniPuri family for Seigaku or recast, possibly into two separate families. -_would like to see Inui as a mother-_

xxxxx

July 12, 2008


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